Living with The Wedding Blues

We have something a little different for you today. One of our readers, who wishes to remain anonymous, has contacted us because (like many other newlyweds) she is living with the post wedding blues. She decided to write a post about it, which I hope she found as cathartic as I found writing my wedding day regrets post. I’m sure many of you will relate so once you have read please leave a comment to let us know how you feel and how you are getting over the wedding blues yourselves. 

Living with the ‘wedding blues’

As all you previous brides will already know and all of you brides to be are about to find out, your wedding day really is the best day of your life. I know everyone always tells you this, but I think you get so sucked up into the whole planning process that it’s only the day after the wedding that you really appreciate it how true it is. My sister told me before my wedding that if you could bottle the feeling you have on the day, you could sell it for millions. I’d say more like billions. However, what people don’t tell you, is how you’ll probably feel afterwards….

I don’t know about all of you other brides, but personally I loved the planning process. Maybe some of you rejoiced after the wedding and were thankful that life could return to normal but I was the exact opposite. I have to say that it is the most bizarre feeling knowing that it’s all over and I am now officially living with wedding blues. Ok, so I can imagine all of you brides to be thinking how ridiculous this all sounds and telling me to get a grip. Well, here are a few reasons why I think the wedding blues are very real:

1.      Number one has to be the most obvious. It is the massive void you now have in your life from not having anything to plan. I loved researching suppliers, reading blogs and magazines to get inspiration and going to planning meetings. Virtually all of my spare time (and I must admit, probably a third of my work time!) was spent wedding planning. It literally took over my life and I loved every second of it.

2.      Your wedding is probably the only day that you will have all of your favourite people, family and friends, in one place. You look around the room and see everyone you love.

3.      You will probably never feel as beautiful as you do on the day of your wedding and that is actually quite a depressing feeling. When will you ever get the opportunity to wear a beautiful princess dress, justify spending a fortune on shoes, get your hair and makeup done by professionals and have a photographer following you around all day. On that day it is all about you and you feel like a celebrity. Everyone comes up to you telling you how amazing you look. The day after your wedding, no one tells you how amazing you look.

4.      You become infatuated with looking at the photos! The day goes by so quickly that you feel like you didn’t have a chance to take everything in. All those weeks planning and imagining what everything would look like and you didn’t even notice the tiny details which a few days before you were obsessed with!

5.      You’re both now skint after spending all of your money on your dream wedding that you now can’t even afford some retail therapy to try and make yourself feel better, let alone plan a trip to take your mind off how depressed you are.

6.      You watch what you eat and train the hardest in the gym that you ever have before to make sure you look the best can you on your wedding day. Then you go on honeymoon and remember what it’s like to be able to eat and drink what you want and take it to the extreme. You look in the mirror when you get home and have to accept that you’ll never have the same ‘gymspiration’ as you did before the wedding.

7.      Although your wedding is still at the forefront of YOUR mind and you’re trying to keep its memory alive, people stop asking you about it and it feels like it’s now a distant memory.

So you have the best day of your life, jet off on your honeymoon and have the most wonderful time, come back to your beautiful professional photos and videos to relive the day and then what? Back to the rain, back to work, back to reality… and reality sucks!

That is the wedding blues.

How to Avoid the Post Wedding Blues

charlieOur classic bride Charlie is here today to reveal her big plans for beating the post wedding blues. Take it away, Charlie!

Because we had such a long build up to our wedding, Mark had been saying all along that I needed a project for post-wedding so that I didn’t succumb to post-wedding blues. As I was starting to get a bit fed up of all the organising towards the end of our engagement I was sure it wouldn’t be an issue but that bump back to reality did hit me harder than I expected it to. So along with some friends I turned my mind to post-wedding projects and ways to combat the post-wedding blues.

Firstly there’s the obvious one – babies! But if you aren’t ready for that particular adventure just yet (or if you have already been there and done that!) there are plenty of other things you can do to fill the void left by DIY projects and table plans.

As my wonderful new husband bought me a camera as a wedding gift I am starting a photography evening class in January, I can’t wait to develop a new skill! We are also in the very early days of house hunting so hopefully before too long we will have our own home and I can also turn my hand to a bit of interior design. Of course I am also lucky enough to be a part of this lovely blog which is a great way of keeping myself busy!

I asked some of my recently married friends and also the other lovely Cwtch the Bride ladies about their post-wedding projects and advice on beating the post-wedding blues, and they kindly obliged! Thank you lovelies.

Sarah Jolly

“Try not to let wedding planning occupy your whole head, (don’t get me wrong- the last four weeks be prepared for wedding brain!) we built in lots of small and big post wedding plans: birthday weekends, weekend in London etc. or go large like buying a house like we did….. (Our holiday snug, Seasgair) My Pinterest habits turned from weddings to coastal chic interiors. I didn’t experience any post wedding blues, quite the opposite we both felt immensely proud about pulling off our wedding shindig”

Karen

“After the wedding, I suddenly realised I had no outlet for my new found love of crafts and making things. Then, one day over a glass of wine with friends, talk turned to finding a group in our area that we could join.

It soon became obvious that there was nothing available to fit the bill, so we decided to set up our own! Neighbourhood Sewcial was born. Now I get to continue organising fun events, I’ve made some fantastic new friends AND I get to make beautiful things to go in our new family home.”

Philippa

“The DIY element of our wedding was a joy, but all-encompassing. We pretty much DIY-ed the entire thing. After the wedding there was a definite void, but it felt liberating to have some time and space without a massive DIY to-do list every weekend.

With all this new-found time we spent the summer reconnecting with our love of the outdoors: camping, cycling, walking. Breathing. This led me to create a website celebrating all things outdoors, where I share our adventures, with tips, reviews, recipes and stories along with some diverse contributors. I definitely feel it’s been an antidote to the bereft post-wedding feeling that so many brides experience!”

Cwtch Sarah

“We went straight on our honeymoon after our wedding, so that helped to delay the post-wedding blues a bit but it felt like an extra hit when we finally got home (from sunny, sunny Mexico to cold, cold Cardiff – to add insult to injury!) and we definitely had a couple of weeks of feeling like “what now?”.

We were living in a one bedroom flat at the time, and started looking for houses a couple of weeks after we got back. Tzevai also decided to take on NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month for those not in the know, where you attempt to write a 50,000 word novel in the month of November) which definitely kept him occupied for a bit! :)

I started working on the next issue of the photography magazine that I create – it was nice to work on something creative without accidentally covering everything I own in glitter ;)”

I hope that’s given you some ideas to help combat post wedding blues if you feel like you’re suffering from them! :)

Love

Charlie x