We all have to have a little bit of compromising to do for our wedding. Whether it be inviting less people, finding a cheaper option on the suits or leaving off the one friend who could have been a bridesmaid but the budget just didn’t quite stretch. Well, what about the actual ceremony? What happens when the traditional wedding isn’t for you? What do you do when you have no wish to do anything traditional. Today our Spring Bride Ali tells us what she is going to do to get round this problem. ~ Kate
Hello pretty ladies (and a few handsome men too I’d imagine… don’t lie, you have a sneeky look).
I have… or had… or, well still kind of have a dilemma on my hands.
My MrMan and I decided, way back when, that we didn’t want a traditional ceremony. By traditional I mean… it won’t be religious, we weren’t keen on having speeches and I really don’t want to walk to ‘Here comes the bride’.
Also, when we got researching in to registering our intent and booking the registrar etc, we found that to have a registrar come to the ceremony itself would cost exactly TEN TIMES the cost of going to the office the next day! Yes. TEN TIMES. So, being the frugal (cough tight cough) couple that we are, we made the decision to have our actual day as a blessing, and then go to the Registry Office the following morning, to legitimatise it all. How very sensible, I hear you cry. Indeed.
Now we have a new situation on our hands… not only do we have no idea how we’d like our ‘non traditional, but sort of traditional in the sense that it’s trying to be non traditional ceremony’ will play out… but now, we don’t have anyone to deliver it!
So MrFullOfBrightIdeas (no sarcasm there…none) came up with a great idea… We have a friend of the family, who does a bit of MCing, and is a fantastic public speaker and ex-headmaster. He would be honoured to, and brilliant at running the ceremony/blessing, we’ll just ask him.
But then I asked around my married friends, and a couple of people said that some venues wouldn’t allow that, that there were registered people called ‘celebrants’ who could lead the ceremony… but they cost as much as the difference would be to just have the registrar on the day…
The very last thing we want, if for the day to seem slap-dash. I want more than anything for the day to seem to be running, as it would at any other wedding, to the guests. But we both really do want to be sensible about the money.
So I asked the wonderful Cwtch Girls their opinions…
And someone mentioned a ‘Humanist’ Ceremony.
I’d heard of ‘Humanism’ before, but hadn’t ever really considered us so. But after a bit of research online, the format was just perfect.
A Humanist wedding is not bound by legal restrictions, it can be exactly what you both want it to be. There are no rules or scripts, it is your choice where you hold your ceremony and how it is conducted. You may want to make vows to each other in a field or by the sea for instance. A Humanist celebrant will oversee the ceremony or you could simply ask a friend or relative to do so. You set the tone and can decide to exchange rings, have music or exchange vows as you wish. There are no rules to a Humanist ceremony, it is more personal and a lot more flexible than a civil or religious ceremony.” – Confetti
Unfortunately the ceremony doesn’t cover the legal aspect, so we’d still need to register the next day, but this set up means we get to have exactly what we want, but since it’s something that’s been done before, we’re not completely in the dark!
The next step is to actually plan out what we want. How we want the day to run. What we want to include or not include…
What am I going to walk to? (Any suggestions will be very warmly welcomed)
But what I have learnt through all of this is that your wedding, can be Exactly how YOU want it.
And that really is exciting!
I hope that this has given you all something to think about. Remember it is your day and there are no rules! ~ Kate