We all know the saying opposites attract and it seems that this is the case for our Traditional Bride. Today Kath tells us all about her husband to be, The Manfriend.
In this post, I want to talk about something that’s both exciting and daunting. Weddings and marriage in essence are the joining of two people, two families, two personalities and two lives.
Now I’ve given you my background before, where I’m from, where I grew up, my firm family upbringing, my lifelong friends and how my childhood and past has shaped my ideas for my future and my marriage.
And I’ve briefly mentioned The Manfriend, who is of course, quite an important element in my wedding… but you’d be forgiven if you’ve missed it, because let’s face it, my entire blogging stint has been pretty much me, me, me.
But before you roll your eyes at my ego, there is an important reason behind this… aside from me just loving the sound of my own voice that is!
The Manfriend and I are very different. And I don’t just mean we have different music taste (we do) or we like different foods (we do) I mean deeply, fundamentally different. I’m Welsh, he’s English. I’m blonde, he’s dark. I’m the life and soul of the party, he’s the quiet and calm in the background. While I’m necking jägerboms and falling over my own feet, he’s just finished his 3rd Pepsi of the night and has gone to sit and wait for me in the car. I like strong guitar riffs, and scratchy indie rock bands (Kings of Leon to be exact) he likes drum and bass, fast 90’s beats and jungle (whatever that is!)
I’m the loud one, the mouth of the south, the show off and the centre of attention. He’s polite, speaks when he has something to say, and is the owner of some sexy heavy eyebrows and cheekbones which give him an air of mystery but can also be misconstrued as rude or grumpy… whereas my dopey cartoon face has a history of making even crying babies giggle (I brag about this a lot.)
And the biggest difference between us has got to be our background. I won’t go into the ins and outs, but he was a RAF baby, his parents split when he was young and he’s lived in more places around the UK than I’ve had hot dinners. We’d be watching some random news story about a flooded village in the middle of England and he’ll jump up and point at the tv “I lived there!” It happened so often, I thought he was making it up. But after almost 12 years of knowing him, I think I’ve finally heard them all!! He had a happy childhood, good friends, good memories and despite his mum and brother living at the top of Scotland, they’re fiercely close and talk all the time. But logistically, after all the water under the bridge, house moves and jobs, his circle is small and tight.
And mine is large and wide! I’ve got people on my iPhone “favourites” list I’ve known since nursery. Friends who have become family, family who are all still together, still in love, bringing their own families up, and all in touch with each other, and with me, and new friends I’ve made in the last few years who I’ve welcomed into the fold!
So how do you plan a wedding with the guest list so heavily disproportionate? With ease, actually. There will be no “sides” in our wedding. No division. No his and hers. There will be “ours.” Our people, all of them.
He’s met my family, my friends, he’s seen the stories in action, was there when these hilarities took place, was with me when my nephews were born, went through my friends breakups and weddings with me, in fact, I sometimes feel he knows all there is to know about me, and there are no surprises left. But then I’m like “LOL” I say something new and surprisingly stupid every day, there’s plenty more where that came from!
But with him, there is this whole life he had before me that I can only imagine. I’ve heard the names, seen the pictures, laughed at the stories, now I’m going to meet the stars of the show as actual smiling faces in front of me for the first time in all these years.
Humans naturally go for the same or the opposite of what they are. And I’ve definitely gone for the opposite! But so has he. I really am an open book in a public library. And he’s a padlocked ledger in a secret vault. But only I have the key.
I love that he’s a bit of an enigma. I love that only I get to see the stupid impressions he does at home to make me laugh. Only I get to see the cheeky smile when everyone else sees a serious face. We say the same things at the same time. I will think something and he will say it. We just connect, you know? And only I get to spend the rest of my life still finding out new things, hearing more stories and knowing there’s still more to learn as well as making even more stories together. And how exciting is that?
Ah you guys. I love this post. If you have missed her last posts you can find them here.