Bride-to-be Diary: Considering An Adult Only Guestlist

It’s almost time for our bride-to-be Cath to become a Mrs! :) Today she’s talking about the potential guestlist dilemma of inviting children to the big day…


We’ve been making the final, final amendments to our ever-changing guest list, as the day gets scarily close!  When we first sat down and came up with a rough list of names and potential numbers all those months ago, it all seemed so straightforward.  I never realised it could become more political than a day at the White House!

One of our biggest dilemmas? Children.  It’s likely to be a decision facing many of you brides and grooms-to-be but for us, the choice was fairly straightforward: we wanted an adult only day.  We both imagined a chilled out day where we could relax with our friends who would be able to just enjoy the party.  I will also (possibly controversially!) admit that young children make me nervous – give me teenagers to deal with any day!  I really don’t want to offend anyone by writing this post so will state now that I have been to many, fantastic, family friendly weddings.  But it’s just not us.

Tiny DancersPhoto credit

Also, with a tight guest list, inviting children would have meant that we would be further restricted on numbers.  It was hard enough slimming down a list which had inexplicably swollen over the past twelve months…every time I opened the spreadsheet another name seemed to have magically appeared!

However, an increasing number of our close friends have children and we were worried that our decision would upset them. Cue hours spent scouring the internet for advice.  Tell them early and be prepared they might get angry seemed the reoccurring philosophy.  So we braced ourselves for the backlash…and delayed.  The last thing we wanted to do was upset our friends.

Despite having planned to for months, it took us a while to summon up the courage to broach the subject with our friends.  And the outcome?  We should have had more faith in our friends!  They were great and very understanding – most had already decided, invite or no invite, they weren’t bringing them anyway as they fancied a chance to let their hair down before the family-packed festivities of Christmas kick in.  And those that knew us really well had already figured we’d be happier with an adult only day.

Wedding guests scuttle with chairsPhoto credit

Once that hurdle had been crossed, there were still other decisions to ponder.  Where do the work colleagues fall?  Which members of our various sports teams can be elevated to the day without offending those who stay on the evening list?  Who gets a plus-one and who has to come alone???  We don’t want a huge wedding and are capping numbers at 70 but, as many of you might be able to empathise with, up until a couple of weeks before we posted the invites, our guest list was still a little fluid.  Some potential invitees seemed to be doing a bizarre version of the hokey-cokey as they moved from the day to evening list and back again.  Repeatedly.

There are plenty of magazines and websites out there offering advice, normally reaffirming one rule: invite them all or none at all.  Great if you’re a recluse who’d prefer to hide out in your cold, dark cave all alone, but we wanted as many of our friends there to share our day as our budget will allow. But after the whole ‘children’ hurdle, I think this whole list cementing thing might actually be getting a little easier.  After all, as twee as it sounds, if they’re worth the invite, whether it be day or night, they’re nice enough to understand us.  Fingers crossed!!


Cath x

2 thoughts on “Bride-to-be Diary: Considering An Adult Only Guestlist

  1. Love this Cath, well done for being brave and sticking to your guns. We only had very few children because of the numbers, I was apprehensive in case they got bored/mischievous but on the day they were very good. The only problem time was during the speeches :-/ x

  2. Hi Charlie! I will admit we have one (small) exception in the form of Mike’s 10 month old niece…but being close family, there was no way she was being left out. However, Mike’s sister-in-law had already reassured us that the second she looked like making a noise, she’d be gone. I’d have been worried about how to entertain them too…we’re getting married at midday so it’d be a very long day. x

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