When planning a wedding it can all get very overwhelming. Our Traditional Bride Kath talks about how everyone has rallied round to help her out in the planning process and making bits for the wedding. Take it away Kath!
Our Traditional Bride
As per usual, I’m writing this piece the day of my deadline, but this is something very close to my heart and I’ve been thinking about, and experiencing it for months now, so it’s nothing I have to think too hard about!!
I don’t know about many of you, but I am fiercely protective over our wedding plans… I’ve trawled Pinterest, scoured other people’s weddings on social media for inspiration and have generally gathered these huge plans, crazy off-beat ideas and expectations about what’s going to be JUST RIGHT for me, The Manfriend, our family and our friends.
I also had equally big ideas about how it was all going to come together, how I was going to pay for it, make it, create it, ALL BY MYSELF to make sure every single person in attendance has the best day ever, and as well as feeling like the Belle Of The Ball all day, I was also looking forward to all the “oooohs” and “aaaaahhs” from my loved ones as they gush “you did all this yourself? Around your full time job and your home business? Wow you’re amazing!” and I’d soak it all up feeling like Super-Bride as everyone enjoys the fruits of my hard labour…
Well dudes and dudettes, I can categorically tell you that is NOT going to happen!
I’ve learned over this last few months that although the bride may be the centre of attention on the big day (at least I hope so… Sorry Rich, but it’s all about me!!) there are some things I just can’t take the credit for… Because behind this Traditional Bride is a pretty tight entourage consisting of my closest family and friends, without whom, almost half of what “I” want for our wedding just wouldn’t be coming into existence.
Take the invitations for example… I wanted to make them all myself, “SO personal!!” I thought. Until I realised logistically, all I had was a computer and some words. No printer, very little stationery, and just not enough time. So what happens? One of my oldest friends Lynnette steps in and spends 3 hours of her own time in the evening printing out reams and reams of coloured paper, invitation inserts, RSVPs, hotel room lists, and menus.
Followed suit by another bestie Gemma who borrowed a snazzy paper-guillotine off her boss and lent it to me for over a month so I could cut out aforementioned colourful invites. So yes, my invitations are arty and crafty and hand-made, but I wouldn’t have been able to do them without these girls! Gemma is also my life planner… without her, I wouldn’t have any of the amazing spreadsheets set out so perfectly to plan every penny of my budget (wedding and non-wedding related!)
Speaking of budget, I have to of course mention my parents. Financially, Rich and I are ok. We both work, I have my home business, but at some points over the months, there have been times where deposits have needed to be paid, and whether it was the week before pay day, or the same week my MOT was due, the bank of Mum and Dad has had to step in and save the day.
The Mumatron has, whilst we’re at it, got the most beautiful handwriting… I’m talking full-on calligraphy-style, every dot, flick and line curled to perfection like something out of an ancient scroll, so her contribution to my invitations is of course all the names and addresses written in her beautiful hand… As well as buying all the stamps!!
My beautiful friend Nikki who I haven’t seen for 5 years since we were living together as holiday reps in sunny Menorca has absolutely MADE my ceremony by agreeing to sing me down the aisle with her spine-tingling opera-trained voice, I can barely hold the tears back just thinking about it, and my friend Sarah, well… her contribution is so pivotal that’s it’s still under wraps at this stage, but I know without her help, something incredibly special certainly wouldn’t be taking place! And there are a few more names I could add in here but just CAN’T for fear of giving the game away… But they know who they are!!
Then there’s my sisters, my beautiful bridesmaids, my bestest friends, my counsel, who have been so accommodating when shopping for dresses, despite their complete differences in style and appearance, they got their heads together and picked the perfect gowns as well as shelling out on MY wedding day accessories (which I’m sure, as a rule, should be the other way around!) and of course, are the Head Hens (along with others, again, they know who they are)!! But I know NOTHING about what they’re planning for me in that sense, and I hope to keep it that way!!
So yes, this is a pretty indulgent post, I’m name-dropping all over the shop, but the grander point I’m getting at is it’s OK to ask for help! It’s OK to have a meltdown! It’s OK to look at your timescale and throw yourself on to your bed crying because you can see you’ve bitten off more than you can chew… because if you’re as lucky as I am, you’re only a couple of panicky text messages away from resolution.
Of course we all love planning our own weddings, and we all love (or maybe just me!!) the idea of being the Big I Am behind our own Big Day, but for most friends and family, and as I know from helping organise and take part in the weddings of others, it’s an honour to be asked to give a helping hand.
I know I’m lucky to have friends and family to run to when I need something done, paid for, organised, arranged, donated, or even just for a point in the right direction, so if you have a willing and eager Wedding Squad, USE THEM!
And if you don’t have a pre-made Team, REACH OUT! You’re already reading Cwtch The Bride, what do you think we are all here for? Search, ask, share, message, text, post… Weddings are stressful, and if you need some direction, perspective, advice or just a rant, the first step to avoiding total pre-matrimony meltdown is to take a deep breath and just ask for help.
Don’t get yourself in a rut, out of time, out of resources and in a tizz over something that could be solved by someone saying to you “I’m on it babe, don’t worry!”
I can’t thank my Arranging Angels enough, and I know when the tables turn for them, I’ll be first in the queue to get them to the I Do!
Thanks Kath for reminding us that even though planning a is hard, it is ok to ask for help. ~ Kate