Vintage Bride Sophie is back this month with her thoughts on remembering loved ones at your wedding. Over to Sophie.
Hi lovely Cwtchers!
I’m going to be sharing my thoughts on a part of your wedding day we don’t often talk about. Ways to remember loved ones…
After the initial excitement of announcing your wedding subsides a little and thoughts turn to planning and budgets, perhaps when the dreaded table planning begins, there will come a moment when you realise that not everyone you love will be there on your special day and it isn’t easy when the realisation hits you.
One of the hardest, yet most beautiful moments of our wedding day was when Gareth took a moment to remember the people we love and are no longer with us during his speech. Here is a little extract from his speech and a photograph Maria took as he read it.
I want to toast to the loved ones that are no longer with us. I know that there are some empty places in our hearts and not just at these tables today. Soph, I know how much you would have loved an approving kiss from your Grandfather and Uncle Eric and also a warm smile for you and a disapproving look for me from your Aunt Joyce. And for me, I’m thinking of my Grandad Eirydd – or Eddie as you might have known him and my Grandad Sid. Both men taught me to live my life with a smile on my face and most importantly that learning never stops – at any age – so I know that I will be questioning everything around me until my dying day. So this toast is to the people that mean everything to us – I said there are empty places in our hearts but really our lives are richer for having had these wonderful people in them. To loved ones!
He was right, what we would have done to have them there.
Ahead of the wedding, I had already decided that I would honour my grandfather by including sweet peas in my bouquet. He used to grow them and enter them in to competitions and he was so, so proud of his garden. If he had still been with us I imagine he’d have grown all of our flowers.
I never got to meet my grandmothers but it was always clear that my mother and father would have loved me to. My bouquet was tied with lace which belonged to my mother’s mother and the room was full of crocheted doilies my father’s mother and great aunt had made.
Wherever I looked in that room, they were there.
If I have any advice it would be this… When you’re planning your wedding, make time to remember the people you hold dear. Find a special way to ensure they have their place in your day. You want them there and they would want to be there so ensure you have something; a photograph, a favourite poem, a song, something that you will see or experience on the day and think ‘Oh, there they are.’
Think about the person they were and why you loved them. Of course, you can look to Pinterest and the internet for inspiration but if you can, find your own way to remember them. I chose not to have a photo table because that would have reminded me that they weren’t there. Instead, I found ways to include them as if they were still here. My grandfather would have grown sweetpeas for me, my grandmother and great aunt would have crocheted doilies if I had asked and I would have been given lace and other pretty pieces.
Above all else, when that moment in your day comes, by all means shed a tear and have a little cry; it’s your party and you should cry if you want to. Just make sure you give them a smile. Remember that they would want you to be happy and, whether they can see you or not, they would want you to smile your biggest smile! You are marrying the person you love and I am sure they would have given anything to be there to see that. So let them.
If you feel you can share, we would love to hear how you plan to remember your loved ones or ways you have already honoured them. Perhaps you can help inspire other readers :)
I promise vintage business will resume next time!
Till then, much love,